Toy Soldiers
by redheadturkey
Summary: Summary: Sometimes, love turns dangerous, it becomes an addiction that slowly but surely kills the spirit, and parts of you fall. . .like toy soldiers.


Toy Soldiers

by Diane Kelley

Summery: Sometimes, love turns dangerous, it becomes an addiction that slowly but surely kills the spirit, and parts of you fall. . .like toy soldiers.

Disclaimer: The boys aren't mine, they belong to Square Enix.

_Step by step_

_heart to heart_

_Left right left_

_we all fall down_

_Like toy soldiers_

Each step that fell. .. each step it felt like brought him closer to the end. . .closer to falling into a darkness even he, Reno of the Turks, did not know how to find his way out of. When had love become so twisted? When had what he felt that he had once needed so badly turned into the very thing that was slowly destroying him? Golden hair backlit in an office window, eyes that were usually the cold blue of glacial ice became the sunniest of summers when they touched. The desire pulsed through him every time he pondered those things.

_It wasn't my intention to mislead you_

_It never should have been this way_

_What can I say?_

Every kiss felt like a lie. They'd hidden it from his father. After all, what would the ruler of the free world say if he discovered not only was his son gay, but that he was fucking his bodyguard who was a slum rat at that?

_It's true, I did extend the invitation_

_I never knew how long you'd stay_

_When you hear temptation call_

_It's your heart that takes_

_takes the fall_

He raked his fingers through his red hair, looking at how the shadows had grown larger under his eyes, the scars on his cheekbones standing out even more against the skin that had become an almost sallow tone from restless nights.

_Step by step_

_heart to heart_

_Left right left_

_we all fall down_

_Like toy soldiers_

_Bt by bit,_

_Torn apart_

_We never win_

_but the battle wages on_

_for toy soldiers._

Toys. ..that is all they were to president, playthings to be used, then discarded once they had outlived their usefulness. Would Rufus do the same to him? Discard him once he no longer had the youthful stamina he did now? He did not want to think so, that the younger Shinra posessed such cruelty was not something he wanted to think was possible, but he was his father's son.

_It's getting hard to wake up in the morning_

_My head is spinning constantly_

_How could it be? _

He had taken to throwing his shoe at his alarm clock in the mornings, He hated getting up, hated going into the office where he was forced to sit and look at what he wanted, but not be able to touch it.

_How could I be so blind to this addiction? _

_If I don't stop_

_The next one's gonna be me. _

The rumors had run wild. . .he had not been the first partner of Rude's to run afoul of the Vice President's charms. . .though the rumors had said that Rude's last partner had been executed for it. Would he be next? Was this addictive love going to end up being his undoing?

_Only emptiness remains_

_It replaces all _

_of the pain. _

_Won't you come out and play with me?_

His heart had grown numb. .so numb that whenever he met his partner's eyes with those cold, dead chips of iced jade Rude shuddered. It was a frightening thing, for someone who had once been so lively, so spirited, such an untamed heart, to suddenly have become so lifeless.

_Step by step_

_heart to heart_

_Left right left_

_we all fall down_

_Like toy soldiers_

_Bt by bit,_

_Torn apart_

_We never win_

_but the battle wages on_

_for toy soldiers._

Always the loser. ..forever never knowing what it was like to have all of his desires fullfilled. ..he knew that was what life was going to be. ..when the news reached him in Wutai while they were waiting for Tseng to recover from the injuries dealt him by the silver-haired angel of death that had made it his mission in life to destroy everything beautiful upon the face of the world it felt as if the gales of winter had taken hold of the spaces the blond had left behind.

_Only emptiness remains_

_It replaces all _

_of the pain. _

_Won't you come out and play with me?_

Even once they had found him. ...alive. . .that hole in his heart remained. ..nothing would ever be the same again. A year passed, then 2. ..the mess with the brothers, then dealing with the aftermath. . .he did his duties as a Turk with efficiency, protecting the President with all of his courage and strength. Then came the day. ..he became the toy soldier. It was a rally in Edge, those who supported the efforts the new Shinra had made on one side. . .those who still fear the monarchy would return on the other. A cry of warning, the thunder of a rifle, a slender body hitting the ground, crimson hair meeting the crimson fluid flowing from him, one almost unable to tell where one ended and the other began. . .a whispered "I love you" as iced jade orbs slid closed for the last time, two pale hands clasped together as that addiction had finally undone him.

_Step by step_

_heart to heart_

_Left right left_

_we all fall down_

_Like toy soldiers_

_Bt by bit,_

_Torn apart_

_We never win_

_but the battle wages on_

_for toy soldiers._


End file.
